Right or Wrong?

 

 

What is the right way to parent? Everyone has their different perception on parenting. The question is who is right and who is wrong. Who knows? Well the answer is we don't! We learn to parent by how we were raised, what we have been taught, what we have been told, and what we have read! The point is we all do it differently and we do it the best we know how!

As a first time parents it is rough! You are learning so much you have so many questions and you are not sure you are doing anything right. You look to others for help and you listen to there ideas even if you are not sure if what they are doing is what you want to do but you will try anything once! Let's be honest when your baby won't sleep and you are so tired you can't function and your ready to pull your hair out your about ready to do anything.

I started following a group March2013mamas and they are amazing! I have not seen much judgement about the way others see fit to raise there children and everyone seems to answer any question with the intent to help out a new mom. Most of these women came from another group and I have heard a lot about why they had left it. Most of them had said that some of the ladies just down right tear into you if you post something and they do not agree. So they started a drama free group where everyone is respectful to each other. Out of curiosity I went and checked out this group that they had said was horrible.

One Mother question was "My baby wont CIO".  She did not believe in doing CIO but so many moms had recommended it and at her wits end she was ready to try anything. Well her baby was not going to sleep after waking up in the middle of night and she was just so tired she took advice from other mothers to let her cry it out and that is what she did. She's asking advice about what to do because letting her cry it out for almost 45 min didn't work and that baby got so worked up she was sweating from crying so hard. She also said she would never do it again!

I was shocked at the responses this mother who just needed some help got. Some of these other mothers were so cruel. Telling her she was a bad mom what was she thinking, how could she leave her crying for 45 min. A mother who just needed help and didn't know what to do was being ripped apart by these women. It was just so sad that these women could treat a mother in distress so badly.

She was going off what others had told her. Was she told in full detail of what CIO was and how to do it? Probably not! So what she was doing was what she thought was good because it had worked so well for others. I would definitely never leave my baby crying for that long and I do not believe in letting your baby cry it out but some mother's do and maybe she didn't know. Maybe she was confused on what to do. Being a new mom is hard and sometimes you just need help!
I am sure she already felt horrible about it and then these women just added to it. I was confused on why these women would treat her so bad. She made a mistake that doesn't make her a bad mother.

I think we need to be less judgemental when we are learning to parent. Most of use are learning how to be new parents and those that have older kids are learning new ways of parenting. I know I am.
So my point is instead of tearing each other apart when someone makes a mistake how about helping them. Lets help each other out cause let be honest parenting can be extremely difficult and not one parent is perfect.